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• General Workshop
Information
• Facilitators
"You're responsible! How could you? Why did you do that?
You hurt me ...
It's your fault! No, it's yours! Maybe it is all my fault...."
How many times have you felt blamed for things you did
or said or for just taking care of yourself? Did you feel attacked?
Hurt? Angry? Did you feel like blaming back, pulling away or getting
even? How many times would your partner say that he or she felt blamed
by you?
Blaming is one of the major destructive forces in
relationships. Sadly, it is all too common and can appear in subtle,
hidden forms.
In this workshop we will examine the roots of blaming
and take a close look at how it happens and what the results are. We
will learn a new way of being with ourselves and our partner that
provides safety and room to open our hearts. We will also learn the
very practical "Empowering Communiction Model" for expressing our
feelings and needs in a clear, non-blaming, way.
The problem starts when we create stories in our heads
that are full of assumptions about our partner's feelings and
interpretations of the meaning of our partner's behavior. These stories
often have little to do with reality and usually make us very sad,
angry and/or scared. We then react to these unhappy stories with a
"fight or flight" response-we either attack (blame) and/or pull away.
This leads to an escalation of problems instead of resolution.
The alternative is "Open Presencing." This involves
softening into an accepting and compassionate way of being with
ourselves and approaching our partner. We take a friendly look at our
stories, needs and feelings and share these with our partner. We apply
this same attitude towards our partner's experience. The result is
often a rich, non-blaming sharing of feelings and needs which brings us
closer together instead of driving us apart. Conflicts are transformed,
and we end up feeling like allies instead of enemies.
This day and a half workshop will combine work of the
heart and the head. You and your partner will have the opportunity to
explore the subtle dynamics of how you have been relating, and you will
learn practical tools that you can take home to move beyond blame. You
will learn and practice Open Presencing and the Empowering
Communication Model. You will also have fun and share loving and
appreciative moments together. Lastly, the high ratio of staff to
participants (1 to 4) is designed to provide for guidance and emotional
safety.
This workshop is for all couples who want to deepen
their connection and move beyond blame. This includes couples who are
struggling and those who just want a deeper commitment and a more
harmonious, supportive, loving, and healing relationship.
Stefan Gonick, Relationship
Therapist -
Stefan is a Body-Centered Gestalt Therapist with an additional
specialty in intimacy issues and couples therapy. Stefan believes that
there are no "enemies" inside us. Rather, it is important to listen
very closely to the challenging parts of ourselves to uncover the
underlying needs and heal them.
Bruce Brown, Ph.D., LMFT
Pamela Deffreys, Relationship Therapist -
Pamela and Bruce, a married couples therapy team working in Amherst,
MA, offer professional guidance enriched by deep personal experience.
Pamela specializes in Conscious Relationship Therapy.
She has trained in Mind-Body and Presence-Centered* Psychotherapies
(*with John Welwood).
Bruce, during 24 years of therapy work, has created a
model of psychotherapy designed to integrate mind, emotions, and body
and promote wholeness and vitality in relationships.
Cost: $190 per couple before April 11th
($210 after).
Enrollment: Limited to 8 couples.
Location: Stillpoint Center, Hatfield, MA
(10 minutes from Northampton center).
For further information contact:
Stefan at (413) 527-2745 or stefan@healinghearts.com
or
Bruce & Pam at (413) 549-7166 or smiling@rcn.com
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