EFT for Releasing Stuck Anger (with an Ex or Anyone Who Has Wronged You)
We feel anger when we perceive an injustice, when our boundaries have been violated,
and/or when we feel "wronged" by another person. Sometimes this anger
can persist for many years past the original event. It can even persist
after the offending person dies!
The positive side of anger is that it gets us in touch with our power center so that
we can take action to stand up for ourselves or someone else. This can be very good
and important when appropriate.
However, there are times when an old anger is serving no useful purpose; there is no
action to be taken. Instead, it is only causing us problems by weighing
us down, causing stress and creating some kind of dis-ease within us. Once
an old anger is identified as the root cause of some problem that we
are having, it is usually readily relieved by tapping on the anger that
we have towards the person. It typically helps to be very specific
about the cause of the anger when tapping. For instance, rather than
Even though I am furious at my ex-wife...
It is better to say something specific, like:
Even though I am furious at my ex-wife for cheating on me...
It can also help to pretend that the person is sitting in front of you and express
all your anger feelings directly to the person while tapping.
After a few rounds of tapping, the anger will drain away and the current problem
will clear up. At least, this is the usual situation. Sometimes, however, it doesn't
work out that way.
When Anger Won't Let Go
I had a series of three clients some time back where tapping on their anger didn't initially
help much at all. In each case, the offense was a bad one that had happened a very long
time ago. There was nothing to be done or even said to the offending person, and in
one case the person was dead. Each of these clients were aware that the offending
person was not being affected at all by their anger and that they were the only ones
suffering. However, tapping was not relieving their anger.
When this happened with the first client, we were initially stuck for a while, but
then I had a flash of intuition. I asked my client whether she felt that letting go of
her anger would mean that the other person would somehow "get away with" what he
did? A light bulb went off and she strongly agreed. It came out that she subconsciously
felt that her anger was, in a cosmic justice sort of way, keeping the other person
"accountable" for what he did. She was afraid that if she let go of her anger, it would
mean that it "didn't matter" what he did to her and he would "get away with it" without
any consequences. Her anger was the only form of "punishment" that he
was receiving. The dilemma was that the only person actually being
affected by her anger was her, but letting go of her anger felt like it
would be to his benefit.
So, we tapped on:
Even though he'll get away with what he did without my anger...
Even though he won't be accountable without my anger...
Even though it won't matter what he did to me without my anger...
Later in the tapping we included affirming phrases like,
I release him to the Universe
He is subject to his own karma
I choose peace for myself
After several rounds of this kind of tapping, my client's anger was gone, and she
felt great relief and peace around the issue.
After encountering this same situation with the next two clients in a row, I felt that
this insight might be helpful to others. So, if you find yourself having a hard time
relieving your anger through tapping, look deeper within to see if issues of "cosmic justice" are getting in your way.
Hugs to all,
Expert EFT Practitioner, Trainer, and Soulmate Attraction Mentor
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