Matrix Reimprinting: Heal Your Internal Parents, Heal Your Life!
Please note: This article consists of a mix of my own ideas and concepts inspired by
In this article, we are going to discuss a powerful new EFT technique for
achieving a very deep level of healing and literally rewriting our emotional
history. It involves using EFT to heal what I call our "internal parents" or
the parents that live within us. Using this technique I have helped my clients
heal difficult issues and achieve a greater degree of peace than ever before.
We need to start with an important concept in psychology called "internalization."
This is where we "internalize" or make part of ourselves the ways that we were
treated by our parents growing up, both good and bad. If we were praised,
loved, and supported, we will internalize these good behaviors and continue
to praise, love and support ourselves without our parents being present.
Likewise, if we were yelled at, criticized, and judged, we will internalize
these negative behaviors and yell at, criticize and judge ourselves without
our parents being present.
Our Parents Live Within Us
I would like to take this concept one step further. I believe that we internalize
our parents' energy as well as the patterns of how we were treated. We have
a version of our mother and father still living within us. These internal parents
are still doing to us what our original external parents did when we were children,
both good and bad. For instance, if we had a raging father as a child, that father
is still raging at us inside, even if he no longer rages now or is no longer
a part of our lives (or even no longer living). This internal parent lives on.
We can tell that this is true because we can feel that energy coming from our
parent whenever we choose to tune into it. For example, We can literally feel the
rage coming from our internal father at any time we focus on it. This goes way beyond
just remembering what was said and done. We are actually feeling that rage coming
from our internal father right now. Unfortunately, we also often feel our parent's
energy when we don't choose to. This is not a happy thought that we are still being
raged at by this internal father, but it opens up some very interesting healing
Our Internal Parents Can Be Healed With EFT
What if we were to apply EFT to the parent living within us? If we could use EFT
to heal this internal raging father, for example, then he will no longer rage at
us inside. This internal negative experience will come to an end. What a relief
that would be! But is it possible to heal an internalized parent? After all, this
internal parent is not a real person.
In my experience, the answer is a definite yes. When we relive a memory, we can
tune into our internal parent's feelings and thoughts. We can then use this when
we apply EFT to heal our internal parent's feelings. The procedure for doing this
will be described next.
How to Heal an Internal Parent with EFT
The procedure for using EFT to heal an internal parent is a little strange but
fairly straightforward. You start by replaying a memory long enough to tune into
the parent's emotional energy. Once you have done this, you have actually tuned
into your internal parent rather than just your memory of your real parent. You
then start tapping on yourself while imagining that you are tapping on your internal
parent at the same time. If you can visually see your parent while doing this, that's
great. Or if you can physically feel yourself tapping on your parent, that's fine too.
Otherwise, you can just imagine that you are tapping on this internal parent. While
tapping, it's important that you use wording as if you were the parent rather than
For instance, if we use the raging father example, you would tap as if you were
your raging father and say something like:
"Even though I am furious with my daughter, I deeply and profoundly accept myself."
You would then keep tapping, as your father, on the anger feelings and any other
feelings and thoughts that come up. In our raging father example this might include
"I get so angry when I'm not in control of everything."
"I'm so stressed by all of my responsibilities in my life."
"I'm scared that I won't be able to keep it all together."
and so on.
Just let your internal experience and intuition guide you as to what to tap on.
Remember that this is not your real father, so you don't have to know what your
real father was thinking or feeling. You are tapping on the parent that lives
within you, so whatever feelings and thoughts that you get in touch with are the
ones that matter and need to be healed within you. You keep tapping on the feelings
that come up for your internal parent until they have all been relieved. If you
check in with your internal parent now, you will notice a calmness and greater
degree of openness that wasn't there before.
Once you have completely neutralized the negative energy of the internal parent,
you can take it a healing step further by using EFT to bring loving feelings into
the internal parent to replace the negative energy.
Replacing the Negative Parental Energy with Loving Energy
Go back to the original memory and you'll see that the negative energy, raging
in our example, is no longer present. While that's a big relief, we don't have
to leave it there. We can now redo the memory and replace the negative energy
with an ideal parent's loving energy.
You do this by tapping on yourself and imagining these loving feelings merging
into your healed internal parent. You then play out a scenario in your imagination
that expresses these loving feelings. For example, this might include your father
expressing understanding, acceptance and appreciation (instead of anger) and then
playing a game with you. Let yourself enjoy the new version of the memory and the
good feelings for a good length of time. Really get into this and even have fun
with it! This will serve to change your internal history and experience. The loving
energy and new "memory" will literally replace the original negative energy and
become part of your emotional history and foundation.
It's important to realize that this internalized parent has no relationship
to our real external parent. Our real parent may have changed very much since our
childhood. Our real parent may no longer be in our lives or even have passed on.
When we heal our internal parent, it has no bearing on our real external parent.
Some people don't like the idea of "helping" an abusive parent, while some people
like the idea. It doesn't matter. It's the parent that lives within us that we are
primarily affecting so that he or she won't impact us negatively anymore.
Also, it will likely take multiple EFT sessions using this approach to fully heal
our internal parents. This won't be a one session wonder, but you will likely feel
much better after each session.
Imagine what it would be like to no longer have the negative energy coming from
our internal parents! Imagine the depth of healing that comes from replacing
the negative energy with a loving parent's energy instead.
Hugs to all,
Expert EFT Counselor, Trainer, Mentor to EFT Practitioners and Love Coach